An Irish Tale

A beerly true story

An Irish Tale

by Joyce Melton


There once were two tall Irish brothers, each so tall that he was taller than the other. Sean, the older, taller brother, said one day, "We've a fine crop wool this year and lambs to sell as well. We'll get a better price for them if we go to London and find a buyer ourselves."

"Aye," said Seamus, the younger, taller brother. "Besides, it's a very good excuse."

They'd neither of them been to London before so they visited with their old Da to get his advice before venturing into the big foreign city.

"Ye'll do fine in London. 'Tis a grand place," said their Da, who was looking up, not being tall himself. In fact, he were a short man, shorter than two other short men put together. "But there's one thing to remember if you're going to the City. If you want a good beer, find yourselves a Bass house."

"We'll do, Da," promised the boys and they set out.

On reaching London, they had soon concluded their business and got a very good price for their wool and lambs as it had been a warm, mild winter in Scotland and the sheep there had not obliged by growing thick wooly coats at all. Many a Scottish farmer had been forced to shear his pigs to get what wool he could, which is why, to this day, there are so many bald pigs in Scotland.

Feeling good about the price they had gotten for their fine Irish wool and lambs, the boys decided to celebrate with a beer and remembering their Da's advice they set out to find a Bass house.

The first pub they ducked into denied them. "'Tis Newcastle, boys," said the publican.

And in the second inn they found, the innkeeper told them, "We're pulling Watney's here."

But in the third tavern when Seamus asked politely, "Is this a Bass house?" the tapster merely nodded.

"Grand," said Sean as the two tall brothers seated themselves. "Two Guinness, please."




A Very Cute And Humorous Tale, But Now I Must Ask You This

Did you kiss the Blarney Stone?
May Your Light Forever Shine

Well, as to kissing it no...

... but one of my ancestors claimed that 'twas actually a kidney stone that he'd passed that they hung up on that castle wall for it to be admired.

So, no, we'll not be kissing it. Might give people the wrong idea. :)

- Joyce

Not too bright, are they?

I mean they could probably have got a Guiness anywhere!
But I guess you'd have to expect this from a couple
of knuckleheads who can't even spell "Dad",
or pronounce "sh*t"...

~Laika (zero percent Irish yet somehow chockablock with blarney, and bacalla to boot!)

Sounds like

Bologna. :) Or were you being Sardonic? :)

- Joyce


you know your inebriates

forgot Wexford

at your service,
Dale M. Cannon

Bass house, sounds fishy to me

Will they each get a nice piece of bass?

Sorry my mind is in the gutter.

Pulling Whatneys? Bleeding Red Barrow as Monty Python put it or is is slang for an act that got Peewee Herman in trouble with the law?

John in Wauwatosa

Bleedin' Watney's Red Barrel

A friend of mine from England claims that Watney's is beer with training wheels for Americans who've never had the real stuff. :) Another said it was the LCD of beer, the least offensive to the most tastes. Personally, I like it. It's less bitter than other brews with a nice malty flavor that doesn't need chewing.

Then again, I am American. :)

- Joyce

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