Row of pins

1.

I had the car, so it must be within the last couple years, but I don't know the highway. I was a long way from anywhere, and I have a memory I think must have been a little earlier, of driving through a strange flat land with dead trees and oily puddles of lakes. But this one picks up where I'm eating dinner in a large log house with an elderly couple. I don't recognize them, I think we must have just met, and they're being very hospitable. Earlier the man was showing me something in the garage that he was proud of. A computer-controlled milling machine, maybe? Maybe it was more like a jigsaw. I think he had built it himself. He was using it to make stupid kitschy plywood cut-outs and she would douse them in acrylic latex. Such a waste. The room was decorated with the cut-outs and I had seen more in the yard.

What I remember clearly is that the man shook my hand and disappeared off to the garage again, I think I was some kind of important person and he'd been glad of the chance to show me the thing in the garage and to tell me some things that had been weighing on his mind. Then I was bent over near the door, pulling on my shoes, ready to leave, and I saw the row of pins stuck in the door frame in a crazy snaking line, and I remembered what the man had told me about a row of pins. I stood up, wiggling my toes in the shoes, and spoke to the woman, but I saw the careworn look on her face and she told me, "No, no, don't you pay any attention to him! He don't mean it! He don't know what he's talking about." I was about to speak again but she came toward me, fiercely, almost as if she was ready to push me out the door. She was a tiny frail thing but I saw I had to leave then. She was afraid of the power I represented and I didn't want her to be afraid. I knew that after the door closed on my back she'd be adding another pin to that row. Maybe more than one.

2.

From about the same time, it was the Winter Solstice but I don't know which year. Come to think of it, I have other memories from all the last several Solstices so although this is funny, I could almost believe this one is a memory from *next* year, or even the one after that. I was in a bar and the memory has that swimming quality that shows I'd had at least one beer already, probably no more than that, and I was listening to a girl with a guitar, up on a stage. She was pretty good; they always are; but the memory is about someone else, someone else who had come for the music. All I remember of her, at least all from that night, is one clear image - a hand gripping the handle of a mug of beer, clenched tightly, holding it at an angle. She had two bracelets of braided string, kid stuff, commemorating some friendship, you know like we used to make in Summer camp; and she had old scars crisscrossing the inside of her wrist. I knew they were self-inflicted, but not really - I mean, I didn't really know, I just assumed because even on just that one image which is all I remember, I thought I knew everything there was to know about her.

Some amount of time had passed, so now I guess we're regressing even farther into the future, and everything was all completely different. It would have to have been a few hours or years. Now she and I were very close. I don't know if we had just slept together; I kind of think we had, but that isn't in the record. What I have is another image, same wrist, the woman's right wrist, and in the image I'm holding it between my hands, running the pad of my thumb along the line of one of her scars. I think she enjoys the contact, it's like a caress, but I'm using a different part of my brain, the investigating part, I'm not thinking about her as a woman but rather I'm fascinated by the physical properties of what I'm holding in my hand. ("Oh, romantic!" you say. Well, shut the fuck up.) It's like a film loop - I see my thumb travel along the scar from left to right and then there's a little glitch and I see it start at the left again. The loop goes through four or five cycles before I see what fascinated me so much at the time, which is that the pale line of the scar has grey dashes under it, and now the tactile is tuning in and I'm feeling the grey bars under her skin. There are four no five objects embedded in her wrist. They're each a centimeter or so long, maybe a millimeter in diameter, little pins or cylinders of rigid material that I'm guessing is metal, embedded end to end. I wonder if she cut herself, or was cut by someone else, specifically so these things could be inserted. The film loop stops repeating and I see her wrist pulled out of my hands, she's pulling her wrist from my hands, and the record ends.

3.

From when I was a teenager and spending a lot of time reading TAB books: it was just the era when every microcircuit of any significance would be packaged in a 40-pin DIP, and they were starting to look at other ways of doing it because 40 wasn't enough. Okay, that time was before I was a teenager, but shoot me, I lived in a small town and the library wasn't up to date. My idea of an exciting new CPU, at least from the point of view of scratch construction which was all I ever thought about, would have been (This doesn't even make internal sense, I must have been a lot younger than I remember being) it would have been that Texas Instruments chip where the 16-register file shadowed a section of memory and the whole thing was stuck to one of those oh-so-flat ceramic dips, you know, the long sexy ones with a diamond boss on every gold-plated pin. 64 pins. Not just 40, something special. I don't still have the book so I couldn't quote you the model number. I think that book went into the computer club liquidation sale, and I'm sorry but I think it was one of the ones I couldn't even give away, that ended up getting pulped. Sic transit, don't you tell me about ball grids.

Hey, remember using a socket on a 14-pin MSI logic circuit because you didn't want to risk applying soldering iron heat to the actual chip? Those were the days, when we used real bipolar TTL and damn the batteries instead of faking it with 74HCT, eh?

4.

This is an easy one. Far in the past, before I was even born, it starts with a timeless corridor in a university somewhere. I think it was in the U.S.A. so it couldn't be so very old as all that, but timelessness is key: this was a place that had looked the same for decades. Floor to ceiling, little wooden drawers with numbers on them. You know, the kind of thing you'd see in a pre-computerization library card catalog. Every drawer had a flowery metal holder so a carefully handwritten card could be inserted. It was just like a card catalog but there were so many drawers as to hold cards for more books than any library could ever hold. I remember thinking of a picture I once saw of the Mormon genealogical files, but the proportions of the drawers were all wrong for that and the key image here is of a man in timeless clothing, always out of fashion, pulling out one of the drawers and looking inside. Inside were beautiful iridescent beetles, impaled on steel pins, each with its own carefully handwritten label.

There's also an image from a decade or two later, and this one allows me to date it more precisely: the professor looks twenty years older than in the first image, and he's standing in a field someplace, bossing his students around, and I know from their hairstyles that this is sometime in the 1980s. He is telling them how to pin and label their insect specimens. It is an elaborate and finicky process, involving tools and techniques unchanged in more than a century. There are at least half a dozen different kinds of pin that all look alike to me, but only one of them is correct for any given insect - and of course, the bugs all look alike to me too. The pin must pass through the body at a certain angle and a certain location just behind the head, and the label must also be speared on the pin at a certain distance away from the specimen with the steel penetrating the ultimate, precise center of the paper label. I think that the reason for these ancient laws is that some day these students will have left their own traces in the hall of drawers. It is important that their pinned specimens must blend in with the others in that place; all pinned exactly alike.

5.

I was standing on a trail, a nice dirt trail with a row of rocks along one side, and it was on a mountain with a view down to the sea. I think I was twelve years old and it was at Summer camp and I was with a group walking back from swimming. I had memories from the swimming but they don't signify. I was ahead of the group and I was waiting for them to catch up. Bright sunlight in my eyes, I turned and saw it glint on something on the bark of a tree. I assumed it was golden drops of resin, and I turned and almost tripped over my feet. I was a clumsy child.

The glint was not resin - it was the shiny head of a long pin stuck into the tree's bark. If I had looked more closely I would have seen that there were more of them, at regular intervals of a couple centimeters, all the way up the trunk into the canopy. It was almost like a ladder for some very small person to climb the tree like a telephone pole. The pins had been inserted one by one as the tree grew, but I don't know enough about how trees grow to tell you whether that meant the ones at the top or bottom were oldest.

 

[From April 2002.  Archived at ansuz.sooke.bc.ca/creative/fiction/pins.php.]

Sorry...

I'm not getting it.

Eric

pin number

Not sure what it is but I like it.
a series of vaguely interrrelated dream fragments,
the reader's mind tinkertoying about to create connections
between them; some dully prosaic, some with a vague sense of menace to them.
Sort of reminds me of THIS from the first Psychedelic Furs album:
.

in the eastern carpet store
he is made of dreams
put his picture on the wall
just where the mirror gleams

his body is upon the wall
his teeth are sharp and white
we cut his face with razorblades
and out of him comes stupid light

there's flowers all around his feet
there's flowers in his heart
if you take the needles out
his body falls apart

his body is upon the wall
his teeth are sharp and white
we cut his hands with razorblades
and out of him comes foul white light...

.
~~~hugs, Laika

Interesting Parallel

Thanks, Laika. I figured if anyone here could find a context for it you'd be the one.

Appreciatively, Eric

Re: 8vbvftg5

michael kors handbags
longchamp
nike shox for women
golden goose sneakers
chrome hearts outlet
nike shox
adidas nmd
balenciaga sneakers
hermes belts
kobe basketball shoes
nmd
off white jordan 1
links of london sale
adidas stan smith uk
goyard handbags
golden goose outlet
cheap nhl jerseys
birkin bag
lacoste polo
russell westbrook shoes
kobe shoes
golden goose
off white
outlet golden goose
christian louboutin
vapormax
nike sneakers
kobe 9
converse shoes
ultra boost 3.0
curry 5
puma fenty
tory burch
yeezy boost
michael kors purses
longchamp handbags
nmd
balenciaga sneakers
nike react
nike hyperdunk
michael kors
fila online shop
longchamp bags
adidas nmd
nba jerseys
adidas flux
dior sunglasses
gucci belts
hermes handbags
ray ban
adidas nmd r1
nike basketball shoes
bape hoodie
100% real jordans for cheap
caterpillar shoes
yeezy shoes
golden goose slide
nike air zoom
michael kors outlet
nike polo
kobe byrant shoes
fitflops sale
air jordan
air max
lebron 15
nike air zoom pegasus 32
prada sunglasses
hermes belt
nike air force
nike air force 1
cheap jordans
salvatore ferragamo belt
yeezy boost 350
russell westbrook shoes
huaraches
yeezy shoes
adidas eqt support adv
off-white
jordan 1 off white
chrome hearts
links of london
yeezy 500
iniki
yeezy boost 350
adidas yeezy boost
ray ban outlet
pandora jewelry
hermes
moncler outlet
fila
kayno
air max 2017
michael kors outlet store
tom ford sunglasses
adidas superstar
yeezy boost 350
zx flux
air max
vans shoes
harden shoes
chrome hearts
westbrook shoes
nike free run
tom ford glasses
yeezy boost 350
adidas pure boost
ray ban aviator sunglasses
nike mercurial
basketball shoes
kevin durant shoes
supreme hoodie
lacoste outlet
michael kors outlet
yeezys
hermes belts
ysl handbags
vans outlet
converse outlet store
caterpillar boots
mens basketball shoes
yeezy
jordan 6
moncler sale
fitflops sale clearance
air jordans
adidas yeezy
oakley
air force ones
nike shox outlet
nike air force 1
kd 10
yeezy boost 350
hogan outlet
michael kors outlet
hermes belt
michael kors outlet handbags
adidas yeezy
moncler jackets
curry 4
nhl jerseys
ferragamo belt
nike air max shoes
hermes birkin
lebron 14
off white nike
fenty puma
yeezy boost 350
adidas superstar
michael kors handbags sale
michael kors outlet
curry shoes
crazy explosive
yeezy
nike air force
golden goose starter
fila shoes
ray ban store
nike hyperdunk 2017
air jordan 6
off-white
birkin bag
adidas nmd
jordan shoes
kd shoes
d rose shoes
yeezy wave runner 700
adidas yeezy
balenciaga sneakers
retro jordans
jordan shoes
golden goose sale
nike air vapormax
goyard tote
reebok outlet
longchamp bags
calvin klein underwear
louboutin shoes
pandora jewelry
nike air max 2018
yeezy shoes
paul george shoes
kobe 11
huarache shoes
hogan outlet online
adidas tubular
adidas nmd
yeezy shoes
michael kors outlet online
nike outlet
oakley sunglasses
nfl jerseys
true religion jeans
tom ford glasses
yeezy boost 350 v2
michael kors outlet
balenciaga
pandora bracelet
michael kors handbags
goyard
nike flyknit racer
kobe 11
hermes belt
hermes handbags
lebron soldier 11
adidas tubular
off white jordan 1
yeezy shoes
jordan retro
kobe shoes
goyard handbags
nike flyknit
nike flyknit trainer
air max 90
longchamp
yeezy boost 350
golden goose sneakers
fila shoes
golden goose
michael kors outlet
adidas eqt support adv
lebron shoes
golden goose sneakers
yeezy boost 350 v2
jordan 11
adidas stan smith men
golden goose
hermes birkin
christian louboutin shoes
cheap mlb jerseys
moncler jackets
nike huarache
asics shoes
adidas gazelle
adidas tubular x
bape clothing
nike shoes
lebron soldier 10
nike cortez
irving shoes
michael kors factory outlet
moncler
kate spade handbags
yeezy boost 350 v2
stephen curry shoes
red bottom shoes for women
kobe byrant shoes
asics sneakers
timberland outlet
cheap jordan shoes
off white hoodie
adidas ultra boost
nike lebron 11
basketball shoes
adidas stan smith
lebron 15 shoes
supreme clothing
golden goose francy
chrome hearts online
nike cortez women
nike air max 90
michael kors outlet online
yeezy
adidas yeezy
fila outlet
moncler jackets
curry 5
michael kors outlet
yeezy boost 350 v2
yeezy 700
pureboost
kobe basketball shoes
golden goose
jordan retro 13
adidas nmd
tory burch outlet
cheap nfl jerseys
converse outlet
kyrie 4
nike mercurial vapor
longchamp
nike air force 1 low
golden goose sneakers
adidas ultra boost 3.0
nike huarache
yeezy boost
nike air force 1 high
louboutin shoes
hermes bag
lebron james shoes
nike dunks
pg 1
yeezys
longchamp longchamps
links of london
michael kors outlet
nike air max
tory burch handbags
yeezy boost
jordan retro
longchamp
kate spade outlet
yeezy
huarache shoes
adidas superstar UK
adidas eqt
yeezy shoes
pure boost
james harden shoes
kyrie 4
lebron 15
michael kors factory outlet
air max 2018
kobe sneakers
moncler jackets
jordan 13
michael kors handbags
balenciaga
balenciaga shoes
true religion outlet
red bottom shoes
balenciaga speed
yeezy 500 blush
air max 90
nike huarache
michael kors outlet store
derrick rose shoes
air jordan 12
cheap ray bans
hermes outlet online
nike lebron 15
golden goose
nmd r1
golden goose superstar
michael kors outlet online
nike react
ray ban sunglasses
moncler
nike air max
golden goose shoes
off white hoodie
adidas shoes
nike roshe
goyard handbags
nfl jerseys
cheap nfl jerseys china
michael kors sale
cheap nba jerseys
paul george shoes
nike air max 2017
adidas ultra boost
adidas gazelle sale
hyperdunks
adidas stan smith women
golden goose mid star
nike prestos
john wall shoes
air max 270
adidas store
yeezy boost 350 v2
nfl store
chrome hearts outlet
nike air max
air jordan 11
nike dunk low
nike roshe one
off white shoes
jordan shoes
nike epic react flyknit
foamposites
timberland shoes
prada eyeglasses
gucci belt
damian lillard shoes
pandora bracelet
true religion
vans shoes
lacoste online shop
vans store
nike air max 90
hermes birkin
yeezy sneakers
yeezy boost 350 v2
adidas ultra boost 3.0
yeezy 500
lebron 13
kyrie 3
nike flyknit
cheap jordans
michael kors
kobe 9
adidas stan smith
longchamp handbags
calvin klein outlet
custom baseball jerseys
off white jordan 1
nike react flyknit
tom ford sunglasses
adidas yeezy
pandora charms
adidas iniki
bape hoodie
mlb jerseys
nike hyperdunk
golden goose
goyard bags
nike huarache
longchamp bags
nike air presto
vibram fivefingers
jordan 12
moncler
asics gel kayano
michael kors
adidas iniki runner
michael kors handbags
ferragamo sale
adidas eqt
real jordans for sale cheap
nike air zoom structure 19
off white clothing
goyard wallet
adidas outlet
jordan retro
yeezy
ultra boost
christian louboutin shoes
nike zoom
jordan 4
nmd r1
moncler outlet
pandora charms
curry 4
converse shoes
adidas ultra boost
adidas yeezy
supreme clothing
yeezy shoes
kevin durant shoes
longchamp handbags
michael kors
ferragamo belt
yeezy
nike epic react flyknit
kyrie irving shoes
cheap oakley sunglasses
ray ban sunglasses
adidas yeezy boost
yeezy boost

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Powered by Drupal, an open source content management system